A version of this feature appears in the February issue of AVN Men. Click here for the digital edition.
It might come as a shock to people that in high school, legendary gay porn director mr. Pam—a self-described “crazy, freaky, bisexual hippy from San Francisco”—was in many ways so…conventional?
“I was senior class president, I was on student council, played volleyball, swimming, cheerleading—that type of high school student that a lot of people hate,” she says with a mix of pride and disbelief. “That was me. I was friends with everybody.”
Growing up in Marin County north of San Francisco, she went to Catholic school for 12 years (yep, uniform and everything).
“So that explains a lot,” she laughs. “For some reason, I was always getting in trouble. My teacher was like, ‘She’s a natural leader, but she just tends to lead everybody in the wrong direction.’ I always remember being a very sexual kid—we’d get books in the library and go down to the playground, and I’d read the sexy parts to everybody. I got caught making out behind the school…all these things. I was always dabbling in sex. My parents were like, ‘Your hormones are overactive!’”
At her first job while in high school—waitressing at Bobby McGee’s—a new world opened up. It was a pivotal point in her life that would shape not only her social circles, but her career as well—coming full circle this January when she was inducted into the GayVN Hall of Fame.
“It was like all gay guys and Mexican bussers,” she recalls. “I just loved it. I loved the gay guys—they were so much fun. We used to have these after-parties where everyone was just making out. I had my first threeway with a fellow waitress of mine and this busboy, Antonio from Cancun. So that was the first time I was with a girl. And then all of a sudden, I was confused as to if I was gay or just loved the gay lifestyle and gay men. I just completely fell in love with gay men at that restaurant job.”
While going to grad school for video production at San Francisco State in 1996, she secured an internship editing gay porn, which enabled her to meet iconic directors like John Rutherford, Steven Scarborough and Chi Chi LaRue. The opportunity was there, but she took a different path, accepting a job at CNET as an interactive designer: “I just thought it was too soon. I was intrigued, but not really enough.”
But when tragedy struck in January of 2003 and 2004 when she lost her father and sister, mr. Pam reassessed what she wanted in life.
“After those two big hits, I’m trying to go back to my dot-com job, and I’m like, ‘This is dumb.’ My sister always said, ‘You need to travel, you need to go out.’ She had just gotten back from this huge backpacking trip through South America, so I’m like, you know what? Fuck it.”
A friend had already introduced her to NakedSword CEO Tim Valenti, and Pam approached him about potential work. He welcomed her with open arms to film their series The Tim & Roma Show: “I really love Tim. He has been like a father figure to me.”
mr. Pam also reconnected with Rutherford, leading to an opportunity to film behind-the-scenes footage on COLT’s blockbuster film BuckleRoos. That led to a full-length documentary, work on the landmark Jet Set series Wet Palms, freelance work with many top studios, and the eventual attention of Michael Lucas—who convinced her to come to New York and be the creative director for Lucas Entertainment. After three-plus years, she returned to California to be creative director for the newly launched NakedSword Originals.
“It was so fun to start from scratch. And with Tim, he loves pushing boundaries—and there aren’t a lot of rules. I don’t do well with rules. We would really explore themes in gay life and gay history, and that is one of the things I love most about all my work, is just documenting gay history.”
And after nearly a decade of award-winning films at the company, mr. Pam last year made another momentous decision—breaking away to create her own production company, Wham Bam Pictures. The company will specialize in a variety of production services from directing, photography, videography and more.
“It was such a hard decision to go out on my own…but I thought, this is the time. The world is in chaos right now, why not jump into the chaos and go freelance?” she says, noting she is shooting for a wider range of niches.
“Plus, I have time for a work/life balance too, which I finally realized is so important. I was just traveling and shooting non-stop before, and this caused me to slow down a little bit. I exercise religiously every day and eat healthy,” she shares, crediting performer Ricky Larkin with helping her reach her fitness goals—including losing 100 pounds, which she hadn’t been able to do for five years.
“I was kayaking all summer, I’ve got my dog, and I realize that working out is part of my job. Before, I’d put it on hold. But I need to stay fit to hold a camera and be able to climb up mountains and shoot. So with Wham Bam, I’ll be doing a little bit of everything, producing my own content and also taking advantage of GayVN Stars, ManyVids, OnlyFans and JustFor.Fans, sharing content with the models and putting them on there…it just seems like that’s such a great way to go.”
Photography of mr. Pam and Ricky Larkin by Davide Laffe
