This story originally appeared in the September 2017 issue of AVN magazine. Click here to see the digital edition.
In an effort to aid with recovery efforts after the Deepwater Horizon/BP oil spill in 2010, a young Colby Melvin decided to get involved—working in management as part of the cleanup crew and sourcing vessels.
“That was around the same time that I came out. I had just discovered this new part of my identity that I had never really experienced before,” recalls Melvin, the brand ambassador for AdamMale, an offshoot of Adam & Eve. “And whenever the company that I was working for found out, they said that they didn’t approve.”
Combined with the less-than-ideal climate the young gay man dealt with growing up in the South, it added to an already arduous experience.
“I grew up in a very conservative Catholic area in the Deep South in Louisiana, where the extent of our sex education was a course in religion class that told us, ‘If you masturbate or have anal sex or anything like that, you’re going to hell.’ I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 19, and I didn’t figure out I was gay until I was 21. And I had convinced myself that I wasn’t attracted to guys, I was just envious of the bodies that they had—it’s because that’s what I wanted,” Melvin says.
“In Alabama, it’s still legal for them to fire you for being gay. So in Mobile, where I went to college, there isn’t any sense of gay community. Online was the only place that I had to look, and the only thing that I saw were porn stars and drag queens. And while I don’t have a problem with either, I didn’t want to be either of those things. I’m a very sex-positive person, I think we should be having many more discussions about sex, but it doesn’t mean that I wanted to have sex in front of a camera.”
Melvin left the summer job and found himself a new mission—to become what he wished he had seen growing up, educating gay men on important social and sexual issues. He began working with Full Frontal Freedom, a coalition of independent artists and media executives that raise awareness and improve civil discourse. That led to his popular “Disclosure” video during the 2012 presidential campaign. He currently works with a media agency as head of growth, recruiting social media figures.
In April, he was named a brand ambassador for AdamMale—celebrating the event with a “Dodgeball” parody video filled with well-known adult industry personalities and airborne dildos. Given that Melvin’s social media following has reached nearly 2 million, it was a no-brainer for both parties. The position will last for at least two years, and utilize Melvin’s passion for social activism.
“Had I experienced a positive sexual environment—and I’m not saying that everyone needs to be a slut, but just the education of how to be gay man, how to take care of yourself and everything regarding sex as a gay man—I probably would be in a very different place today,” he says. “So my work with AdamMale is very focused on that, and I love working with them because they don’t just want me to be a porn star knockoff. They really allow me to use my voice in a very educational, sort of free way.”
Melvin ideally envisions himself as “a Dan Savage meets Dr. Ruth for the gay community. I want to be able to talk about sex, sex toys and sexual health in a very free, positive, open way. One of the biggest things for people is they’re scared to get tested for any STDs because they’re scared to find out they have something. And I think the way for us to bridge that gap—and it’s no longer just about HIV, we’re talking about genital warts, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, all of these different things—is to help people feel more comfortable, exploring their sexuality but then also taking care of their sexual health in a way that they’re not scared to seek help when they need it.”
Melvin notes he has done videos exploring sexual health, whether it’s how to clean sex toys, checking for testicular cancer or different ways to make bottoming a better experience.
“There’s a lot of things in the works, and we will see where it goes. I’ve done some promotional videos, some educational videos, because you know we don’t live in the 1950s anymore. It’s no longer about this nuclear family … as gay men, when we have sex, it’s not for procreation, it’s strictly for pleasure. I want to help people explore their sexuality, be more comfortable with it and not feel that they’re doing something wrong by exploring it,” he says, noting that monogamy isn’t necessarily what works for every gay male relationship.
“I have plenty of friends that have very modern approaches to relationships. I’d love to be able to help people discover and explore their sexuality, whether it’s just with themselves, their partner or partners. Again, life is too short to not have fun, and we don’t have to fit into a certain mold anymore.”
Melvin also loves AdamMale’s commitment to public service. Over the past decade, more than 40 percent of the company’s profits have been donated to various charity programs—with 20 percent of its profits going to HIV/AIDS organizations.
“I am hoping to bring them in to more mental health awareness, which is a big cause that I care about. I think that we have a long way to go in dealing with gay-specific mental health issues regarding suicide, depression, anxiety and everything else associated with coming out,” says Melvin, noting that a disproportionate percentage of homeless youth identify as LGBT.
Melvin adds that continuing to promote a sense of gay community is more vital than ever—and can’t drop off after the marriage equality victory.
“It’s great that we’re assimilating, but we don’t necessarily have to disintegrate gay culture,” he says. “I think we still have a long way to go in the United States in helping people be comfortable in their own skin. And again, that’s one of the things that I love about this deal with AdamMale. It’s not about this deviant sex sort of vibe; it’s explore, be comfortable and do your thing. You don’t have to apologize or prove anything to anyone.”
