"Hey, Aly!" the email began, "I have a question for you."
So far, so good. My name was spelled right and I love answering questions.
"I'm having a hard time getting webmasters/ retailers to talk about deals and such. If they do email me back, they usually aren't interested in doing anything with me right away. I feel like I'm going nowhere! Any ideas or tips you could maybe help me out with? Or a direction you can point me in? Thanks!" It was signed, "TotallyStuck in Cyberspace."
Hello, Darling — That’s such a great question; I simply must put the answer in print!
First of all, don't take it personally; any new boy on the block is inevitably destined to a similar fate. Not only are webmasters fickle bastards, but we’re cliquish fickle bastards too!
Look at it this way: There’s a crucial difference between the business we conduct in this industry and that which we conduct on a Friday night at The Abbey, Church Street, or Castro (or wherever it is we tend to get into the best kinds of trouble). In this industry, we’re actually required to spend a lot of time building and developing relationships with those we meet before we get down to business. It’s shocking, but there’s simply no way around this.
So unless you've got something unique which potential clients have a desperate need for (a free traffic generator perhaps, or a machine that prints dollar bills legally), I encourage you to exercise a little patience and adopt the following strategy.
At the beginning of these challenging new relationships, start off with an email to all key contacts. Introduce yourself and let them know why they should be excited to now have you in their world. The injection of new energy into our lives is often a good thing and, deep down, people know that, so work it... don’t be shy!
This initial contact is unlikely to result in a plethora of lifelong commitments, but persistent follow-up may well prove effective. Consistent communication through email, messaging, and chatting on forums will convert you from a cyber-stranger into a living human being in no time. We’re not all-business-all-the-time here, and throwing a little humor into the melee will always serve you well.
Do keep in mind, though, that all-humor-all-the-time hasn’t proven very successful for very many people either. To borrow a couple of adjectives a great writer used to describe me once, it helps to be both light and substantive at the same time. (Of course, certain lesser writers have also used much lesser adjectives to describe me, but we’ll skip those for now.)
Come up with a reason to contact people at least once a week (but not too often or they'll get a restraining order). Ask them what you could offer them that would make them pay attention; and work on building your rapport. Once you’ve made a few new friends, get yourself to the first available industry event! You must meet people face-to-face in order to set yourself apart from the rabble. Certainly, if you don’t, there will always be ten other guys that do; don’t let those filthy sluts move in on your game!
Here’s the cold, hard reality, Darling: As much as you may think your sites, or content (or whatever it is you do) are the best entertainment since Blanche and Baby Jane’s catfight on the stairs, it's highly unlikely very many other webmasters feel the same way.
By perception, what you have to offer is probably the same as what everybody else has to offer, therefore your initial unique selling proposition has got to be your personality — at least until you’re in a position to prove you really do have your hands on the Homo Holy Grail.
It's not rocket science, Darling: Your friends will choose to do business with you over others simply because you're their friend. If someone receives an email from a stranger at some company somewhere, they’re hardly going to respond with, "You have pay sites? and banners? and commissions? Oh, my! I'll take a dozen of whatever you've got!"
What you'll find in the gay webmaster space is a strong propensity for doing business with those we think we love… even when it defies all sensible business logic. In order to get noticed (in a positive way) in this particular marketplace, either become everyone's dearest friend, or build a product that'll knock their cashmere socks off instantly.
If you take the time to build and develop good relationships, consistently do what you say you’re going to do, and build a reputation as an honest, likeable person, you might just find yourself sitting at your laptop someday, generously imparting wisdom to the new boy on the block. If so, I’d appreciate a mention… unless he’s totally dreamy, in which case I expect you to take all the credit entirely!
Good luck, Darling!
Aly Drummond, a prominent and candid online adult industry veteran, is head of Webmaster Relations at online consumer guide, TheBestPorn.com. She can be reached at [email protected].
