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Cult Universal Glide
Manufacturer: Eros Lube

Cult Universal Glide

Review

Nature was not kind to Klaus.

Saddled with an unbridled passion for rubber clothing and an equally enormous amount of body hair, it was difficult for the poor fella to slip on a nice rubber body suit, due to the hirsute condition of his sizable frame.  Hating the idea of shaving his entire front and back (ooh, how those shaving bumps itched!), he tearfully began saving up for electrolysis, and though all was lost....

Until one day, a charitable soul told Klaus about a remarkable product called Cult Universal Lube.  All he had to do was rub some of this miraculously slippery whisper-soft lube on, and he could slide into his rubber clothing.  Gone were the industrial-sized kegs of baby powder, which only created a mess and made him sneeze.

Later that night, as he and Helga returned from the S/M club, they were happy to discover that Cult also made for a wondrous all-over erotic massage lube.  Enriched with d-Panthenol and fragrance-free (so as not to irritate his delicate sinuses), it was in every way a dream come true. Tragedy was averted, and both Klaus and Helga were deliriously happy.

Now if only he could grow some hair on his head, he lamented....