If Casas believes a classic opener is a dude fucking a blow-up doll, we immediately gain some insight as to why Busty Beauties can barely float our boat. And while it’s not written in stone that gals with patently obvious, gravity-defying tits always seem to be “performing” instead of being in the moment, this vid does little to disabuse us of the theory.

So the basic premise (if one can even call it that) is water-soaked hooters. By necessity this involves pool and shower locations—and tits showered by bull gravy emitted by muscled guys such as Lee Stone (whose own rock-hard tits are naturally created in the gym). Stone works out with Regan Anthony pretty well, but not enough to preserve the life of these dubious Flotation Devices. 

Retailing: Fake boob fanatics take note.

— Bradley Milton