It's not often that we want to issue a fatwah against a porn editor, but look at this lineup of raw talent — then tell us that a painless death is too good for the button-pushing incompetent who mis-transferred these smokin' encounters to the wrong bloody screen ratio!

Consider the scene with porn's single most underrated performer, Dana Vespoli, in which she appears swaddled in plastic wrap, with a gigantic dildo already parked up her butt to the very hilt! Jollee and Goode enter the fracas — banging ass, face-fucking, issuing a thirst-quenching squirt. ... Lava-like action spills everywhere. So do the technical fuckups. (Could've been an Editor's Choice!)

Retailing: Raincoater's paradise.