Plucky, German, sex-pumpkin Shayna Knight is the lead attraction of this spunk carnival, which, we're sorry to have to point out, is, by definition, just another 8Teen movie - but we digress. Knight, who puckishly informs the camera during her pre-scene interview that on the recent occasion of her turning 19, she received a "birthday fuck," gets fucked purely for the knuckle-shuffling enjoyment of us viewers, on this fine occasion by Mr. Mark Davis.

Two more of our favorite current teeny-bonkers turn in highly strokable scenes here as well - namely, Mary Kate Ashley and Kayla Marie. This is shaping up to be one hell of a teen line, no doubt about it. Please, though, Quasarman (he's holding the videocamera) ... you're a good shooter, but enough with the, "How's that workin' out for ya?" jive, huh?

And have we a pre-nom? We do: Shayna Knight for Best New Starlet.