Having just read the ratings, you'll see a pattern emerging. (They might resemble alpha waves from a slumbering sloth.) In other words, this is one dull feature... chock full of mechanical sex with second-string Europeans, a moronic plot, without much in the way of extras — not even the most meager of biography selections. (The photo gallery runs itself without identifying the players.)

To rub salt in the gash, the disc opens with a two-minute promo spot, which can't be bypassed by clicking on the "main menu" option. Talk about holding your audience hostage.