'Twas some time before Christmas, and all o'er the set, 10 people were gathered, their minds all on sex. Six ladies wore stockings and lace panties with care, hoping soon the men's cocks would be stirring down there. They were trimming a tree 'stead of sleeping in bed, still the visions of sugar tongues danced through their heads. Though the set had no rooftop there still was a clamour, St. Nick had arrived— played by who? No, not Hammer. Ron Jeremy's Santa is schtick all the way, and the highlight it seems, is that Santa gets laid! The lighting's abysmal and the sex sometimes bores, but the box is so nice it's worth having in stores.