The first segment could be subtitled: The Lone Ranger meets Carpets, Unlimited.

Wayne Summers is supposed to be this guy named "Bob", a bank officer in disguise.  The reason he's wearing a mask is that he doesn't want his boss to know he's doing sex tapes.  That should really fool him, Wayne.

His blonde partner is Chelsea.  When Chelsea smiles, she flashes teeth like Ray Charles' piano keys.  Chelsea states that her personal orgasm record is give.  She may have broken this in the scene which transpires on a carpeted staircase.  It's a good one, not to be missed.

In the second segment, 240-pound "Beaver", who is herself appropriately named, is seen working herself off to a Playboy magazine.  Her thin-as-dental-floss girlfriend, Missy, comes over with a bunch of sex toys.  Missy, as you'll note, has enough oriental designs tattooed around her waist to qualify as a Chinese restaurant.  They are joined by a male friend, J.P., who looks like Drew Barrymore.  The cavernous Beaver gets he depths plumbed with the strap-on, while J.P., in a statement for male equality, gets the D.P.