From the department of Where Are They Now, And Who Gives A Rat's Ass?, comes the answer to a question better left unasked: What's one half of that bogus German pop group up to now? From the looks of things, Milli (Santino Lee) has nothing better to do than hang around a coffee shop nursing a soda and reminiscing about how much pussy he and his bodyguards used to get while his manager Sam Cooper berates him for being a talentless, washed-up asshole. (Tom Arnold, hello?)

I used to thing that great porn actors made great porn directors (John Leslie, P.T., Eric Edwards, etc.) but Nick East needs a quick refresher: They don't call it the money shot for nothin', kid. And Santino, in his "interview" with rock reporter Isis Nile, fails to deliver it. Try Federal Express next time.

Nick manages to cover his own scene slightly better, as a bodyguard strip-searching groupie Micky Lynn. A conveniently placed bean-bag chair is the focal point for a tepid reverse-cowgirl hump, but the only reason to proceed any further is the delightfully natural presence of one of the rock groupies who has to pass USDA inspection by Tony Montana. Though her ass gets eaten and plundered nicely, an initial penetration shot would have helped, but why bother telling a pornographer his business, eh? (At least she gobbles the goo without making a face.)

Best way to market tapes such as these is by creating a "cult" section devoted to the truly off-beat.