The adult video industry is always ripe for ribbing, and that’s exactly what Adult Video Nudes does, albeit with mixed results. Laced with plenty of in-jokes, many of which won’t travel beyond porn circles, the story is about the behind-the-scenes machinations leading up to the 10th Annual Adult Video Nudes Awards show. Payoffs, graft and assorted sexual favors are being doled out in hopes of securing the coveted awards, with the title of Best New Starlet very much up for grabs.
The creamy Kelly O’Dell puts her pitch in for the heralded bimbo trophy by letting AVN Editor-In-Chief Peter North have at her hole on a desktop in the sizzling scene that gets things rolling. Kelly really gets into it as North diddles her bunghole while she blows him, with Alexis DeVell fiddling her flaps as she watches from the side. To show he’s a p.c. pricker, North dons a condom before entering Kelly’s crack with solid stroking results.
Kelly next tries to convince and executive at a major video company what a valuable asset she can be by dining on Alicia Rio’s box lunch for his prurient pleasure. The two hussies ignite some sparks, but nothing of the ball-busting variety. Next come back-to-back scenes with Jonathan Morgan playing two very different types of delivery men. For some unexplained reason, he starts out as an Asian-accented messenger who brings the gonadal goods to office manager Rebecca Bardoux, in a scene that is highlighted by his anal intrusion of her succulent shitter. Next, Morgan becomes a postal worker who stuffs his mail into Alex Jordan’s begging box, and although it hardly qualifies as firs class, it still delivers.
For all the wheelings and dealings that go on in the tape, there’s only one slit that deserves Best New Starlet, and that’s the cum-chewing Canoga, played by the insatiable Crystal Wilder. Having taken the industry by storm, Wilder shows why she’s become hotter than a burning poker to the balls, as she takes on North and Terry Thomas in a double penetration that ends with her getting a patented North faceful of froth. There’s nothing this girl won’t do, except maybe vote Republican. It’s the highlight of the tape, and although the finale where Ron Jeremy and Leanna Foxxx get down and dirty is crotch-bulging in its own right, Wilder’s d.p. is where things should’ve ended. Stocked with a ration of sweat meat, the viewer will have to swim around the self-congratulatory inside references and some silly storytelling to get to the grinding gems. Adult Video Nudes doesn’t offer constant heat, but just enough to keeps the laps of lingam lovers warm and cozy.