|Released||Feb 01st, 1995|
|Cast||Lana Sands, Anna Malle, Alex Dane, Debi Diamond, Cumisha Amado, Nicole London, Kaitlyn Ashley, Mike Horner, Tina Tyler, Sean Michaels, Jon Dough, Anthony Crane, Jake Williams, Ariana (I)|
|Critical Rating||Not Yet Rated|
Alexandra Korda (director of The Thief of Baghdad) has nothing over director Steelberg in this sexual Saharan saga of sultans, magic lamps and genies. With mood-inducing music and clever dialogue, this Desert Moon shines bright.
From the opening "let-the-camel-sweat-fly-where-it-may" multi-coupling on, we can smell that something special is brewing. A sheik (no not a condom, a real-life sari wearer) is so thankful for the food that Sean Michaels has given his villagers that he gives him the proverbial magic lamp. The villagers show their gratitude by doing their impression of a 60's love-in. Asses, dicks and pussies run rampant (at times it's difficult to identify who's banging who but quite frankly – who gives a shit? It's steamy!).
The goings-on include Kaitlyn Ashley swapping spit with Cumisha Amado as she's getting doggied by Vince Vouyer as well as an Anna Malle/Nicole London/Jake Williams triumphant trio.
Complete with a camel and horses, Sean Michaels, wife Ariana, and chief advisor Mike Horner continue their convoy through the desert (maybe they mean dessert, because there's no sand, but there is plenty of cheesecake.) It's here that we learn of Ariana and Mike's plotting to do away with Michaels and rule the glandular Gobi. It's also at this point that Sean rubs his lamp and meets his genie, Jamilla (Tina Tyler). He instantly falls in love with her, but decides to remain faithful to his unfaithful wife. He gets around this "faithful" red tape by wishing for a concubine (in the form of the lovely Lana Sands). Ariana walks in on – and joins – a "where-did-I-put-the-vaseline" cock-sucking. A variety of positions ensues before Ariana orders the Sultan of Twat to fuck Lana in the ass. He obliges with short hard strokes and then lays a spermal mirage upon their faces.
The ever-plotting Ariana and Horner use an aphrodisiac powder helping them "lift" the lamp. This titillating talc is used on Lana Sands and Alex Dane who engage in some serious tit tasting, poop-shoot probing and magic carpet munching, as well as the guards (Debi Diamond, Jon Dough, and Jake Williams). A thorough three-way thrashing follows and concludes with a staff-hardening d.p.
Ariana and Horner celebrate their felonious feats with a tumble 'tween the sheets. Mouth-watering mutual head serves as a warm up for Mike's poking of Ariana's burning bush. The scene (as well as Mike) climaxes with Mike letting his love goblet decant in Ariana's mouth.
The film has a fun ending, and even a moral where good, represented by Michaels, comes out on top – as well as underneath, on the side of, and inside of Tina Tyler in a film ending mish, spoon, doggie trifecta. Well written dialogue is delivered almost flawlessly by a tremendous cast, with an especially find performance by Ariana. An attention to detail is also given to costuming, music, and most importantly, sex coverage. Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman would be well advised to contact the makers of Desert Moon prior to beginning production of Ishtar II. Stock heavily, should move faster than a camel with a hot coal up his ass.