If Asian women turn your customers on, stock A Geisha's Secrets. If you're looking for hot sex, this one's a big whiff. Something is definitely wrong when the best performance is turned in by the venerable Saki, whose supple body belies her maturity. Youthful Brooke Ashley and Melanie Brooks, on the other hand, could use a little seasoning in the sex department as they exude about as much enthusiasm as flossing teeth when they go down on each other for some fortune cookie nookie. As it turns out, Ashley's mouth isn't much good for dialogue either. When she tells Saki that she desires to leave the Western world and return to the world of the Geisha, Ashley reads her lines like she's practicing for a high school play. The geisha theme is played out to the max throughout this tape, which purports to show how "real-life" geishas behave. When Maile and Brooks show Mark Wallice and Randy West some Eastern hospitality, they each don ugly Japanese wigs and kimonos in an attempt to turn back the clock to feudal times. Ashley also turns up in the anachronistic geisha garb when she beds Randy Spears in a lukewarm scene shot in slo-mo. This video probably spent a fair amount on the lavish costuming, but Nadine on the cover, shot enticingly in skimpy white, Western lingerie, proves that less is sometimes better than more. This fortune cookie say, beautiful (but misleading) box cover. Additional cast: Nick East.