"This video will show you the hottest, nastiest college girls Joe Elliot could find," promises the young lady in front of the camera. "This is their first, and possibly only, time in front of a camera." Is that a promise?

First up is a young lady with a bottle of wine and a corkscrew. While she struggles with the bottle, she explains how opening a bottle of wine is like having sex. She finally gets the bottle open, pours herself a drink, then (just like any college girl would do) leans back and masturbates. When Joe joins her, she fellates him, before they proceed to intercourse. A series of jump cuts cause people to "appear" and "disappear," which is totally distracting. Nobody, including the real cameraman seems to be terribly interested in the couple's fornication. After sex, the young lady poses for still pictures, plays with a dildo and has more sex with the magically appearing/disappearing camera man.

The camera man interview the next young lady beforehand. She talks about her boyfriend and her sexual likes and dislikes. She undresses slowly, poses and dances with pom-poms. Dropping onto the bed, she rubs herself with baby oil. The camera man followed her to the shower, where the only steam on the screen is from the foggy camera lens. "Say goodbye," says the camera man. She waves, and that's it.

If I measured this video for heat, my thermometer would read about 45 degrees. The first young lady had sex, but she wasn't very passionate about it. The second young lady was cute enough, but she didn't have sex. If these are the hottest girls Joe can find, he'd be better off leaving his camera at home.