More "Getting To Know You, Getting To Know All About You," from the master of the low-key fuck, Joe Elliott. I just can't figure out how he gets all these girls, although at some point it usually comes out they're doing it for the money.

Debbie is our first coed. She likes guys with tight buns, no chest hair and they've got to be skinny. I guess that's why she goes for Joe. Debbie, obviously into food, jerks off with a banana, and then a Polish knock-wurst. Then Joe gets into the action. Even after he shoots on her face, she keeps on truckin' with more of the produce parade. A cucumber is her next lover. It all culminates in an anal, and not a moment too soon.

Susan and Leena have been friends for a long time. Fifteen years, they say, and they're both in their early twenties. They're into vibrating dildos and each other. They let Joe join in, but only if he stays on the perimeter. He manages to spill his semen on Leena's chest, but it's obvious the girls could have lived without him.

Alison, sweet Alison, is nineteen years old. She's a rock-climber, very femme but very outdoorsy. She admits she's here for the money and doesn't really do anything except roll around on Joe's bed to an old Led Zeppelin tape. She talks a lot, is very intelligent and very articulate. Her body and her face are nice enough, but what really grabs you is her hair. Waist-length, blonde, Rapunzel hair. When Joe asks her about her earliest sexual fantasies, she replies, "I fantasized about rocks." Believe it or not, I fell in love with her. She was good. You had to be there.