You either have cataracts or are watching a remake of Virgin Spring.

Actually, neither is the case in Freshman Fantasies which, for some unfathomable reason, stoops to relentless filter abuse giving this entire show a myopic, focus-challenged, airbrush-from-hell effect. Kind of like watching 60 minutes of Bob Guccione pictorials during Freshman orientation.

A shame in a way because there's some reasonably good T&A footage lurking here. A variety of pretty young women are introduced as "political science," "sociology," "computer science" majors, etc. Before you can say Dean's List, each of the coeds is out of her clothes and majoring in body self-absorption or lesbian activity. One particular scenario, however, grades an F. This one features the shadows of two women apparently fondling one other behind a stained glass door. Then, again, they could be servicing a VCR for all that you or I know.

Cristan, a willowy blonde in denim cutoffs, is best-of-show. She gets naked and plants her ass smack dab on a water fountain. Give this babe an A in advanced hydraulics.