As writer Nick Carroway (a sly homage to F. Scott Fitzgerald), Tony Tedeschi could just as well have a duet with Willie Nelson's "To All The Girls I've Loved Before," and have saved valuable dialogue.

Wearing a Shemp Howard hairdo, Tedeschi bemoans past excesses of boozing and wenching to author rep Melissa Hill, thus allowing the porn screenwriter's favorite excess: the flasback.

Boxcover girl Annah Marie appears in two scenes, but ejaculate honors go to Vince Vouyer, who dump a mighty load on Monique DeMoan's asshole after their sphincter session.

Rates a look plus a best actor pre-nom for Tony.