If you thought Interview With A Vampire was the last word in undead erotica —you're right! Witchcraft 7 contains not one witch, nor much of any craft, period. W7 brazenly combines the cop-buddy genre with horror and sub-literate humor (That's one helluva hickey" exclaims one partner at the sight of the victim.) Take a look at Kolchak to see how it's done properly, people.

If anything, Interview proved that visual over-stylization by a decent director is pretentious but bearable. But done on the cheap, as W7 cannot help but do, half a dozen dissolve shots of a milk-bathed beauty's heaving bosom and throbbing carotid artery being served up as the main course are just plain stupid. Particularly when the vampire is a ponytailed L.A. businessman (his vampiric qualities being a redundancy) who dabbles in samurai swordsmanship and the occasional night flight in guise of a rubber bat. (Even shameless Hollywood hasn't attempted that lame old effect sine Monogram Studios kicked a hopped-up Bela Lugosi off their lot.)

While the Count does manage to appeal to the repressed sexual desires of his victims, the nudity and potential eroticism is squashed by the inexperience of the actresses, who mainly project a sense of embarrassment. W7 is ultimately undone not by a wooden stake, but a clichéd script and uhm —rotten execution.