Looking for one adjective to accurately and succinctly describe this excellent incursion into the heretofore-uncharted regions of grrrl-driven Gen-X porn is as futile as trying to find just one politician to adequately represent all the world's ills. Sure, Newt Gingrich and Jesse Helms are deeply, irretrievably evil, but neither of them truly succeeds in exemplifying everything that's wrong with our country. In a similar sense, tapes like this send the reviewer scrambling for the thesaurus in search of new, untapped superlatives because it's just that good. In fact, this muthafucka would've gotten six "A"s if AVN allowed such a thing.

Tristan Taormino is the author of a unique best-selling book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women. This was the first ever erotic handbook for buttfucking written both for and by a woman. The video begins with Taormino, who has never directed or performed in a vid, pitching her project to Stagliano: A hardcore instructional tape to accompany the boot, but one that's also hot, making the women who watch it want to try what they're seeing.

"Other instructional tapes tell you what to do, but they don't make you want to do it," explains Taormino. "I want to inspire women everywhere to get into anal sex." What follows is a nearly-perfect mix of volcanic, ass-centric sex and funny, entertaining, and genuinely enlightening conversations about all thins anal.

Good teachers know that the best way for a student to learn something is through passive education, a technique that essentially means the student doesn't realize they're being taught. This tape operates on the same principle. As Taormino sits in front of a half-dozen porn stars fielding their questions and enjoining their discussions, the viewer is likely to learn more about butt sex from just "listening in" than they would from a dozen sex ed books.

When they aren't whacking off, that is. One AVN reviewer who was asked for an opinion found herself stopping to indulge in a little frenzied self-abuse before the first tape of this two-cassette monster had even finished. It's probably safe to say that no instructional tape ever produced has even approached the heat level of most gonzo product, forget exceeding it - which this video handily does. In fact, UGTASFW works so well, on so many levels, it's hard to suggest just one way of marketing this unbelievable tape.

First, this is a fabulous how-to vid, as mentioned above. Second, it's hotter than hell. Picking highlights is tough, but three scenes get big gold stars. The first coupling with the positively stunning Jazmine and her horse-cocked Spanish boyfriend Nacho Vidal is worthy of Rocco Siffredi's hottest, nastiest footage. As a couple, they are a fascinating contrast, with Jazmine being beautiful and articulate, while Vidal is almost brutishly, primitively sexual. Once they connect, however, the feral chemistry between them is powerful and undeniable.

The Chloe/Kyle Stone scene (of course) gets a special mention for its sheer passion and power, with the expected slate of monstrous Chloe orgasms that you can almost feel through the screen. The third gold star goes to the closing gangbang, in which Taormino herself takes on her entire cast, and not only survives, but performs admirably. Watching Taormino getting anally nailed again and again, each reaming resulting in a thundering climax, is certain and final proof that the author practices what she preaches. And lest there be some confusion, yes, this gorgeous young thing is the actual author of this book, and not some newbie porn chick with an academic look.

Despite the nasty sex, however, the gyno-driven tone of this assfuck epic keeps it couples-friendly, which is important for any instructional vid. It also makes this tape extremely marketable for stores with lots of lesbian traffic. Lastly, the tape is immensely entertaining. From the opening in Stagliano's office to the final behind-the-scenes footage, it's one of the shortest four-hour (close enough) porn vids ever made.

Buy this tape. That's the best, most succinct review I can give. Put it out for sale, put it out for rent, give them as Christmas gifts, but buy it. Astonishingly fresh, genuine and thematically successful porn tapes like this don't come along very goddammed often, so don't miss out. Spread a little video joy amongst your customers. Maybe if Gingrich and Helms had gotten butt sex like this, they wouldn't be the evil assholes they are today.