Greetings from the Embassy Suites in downtown Dallas, where all manner of hirsute, genetically-challenged horny local yokels come to play the "meet 'n' greet" game behind closed hotel doors. The least kinky of  this set is a rather tame tryst (Vol. 82, "Interracial Lust Fest") between mocha-skinned Raechel and her well-hung partner Jack, who basically bump fur all over the room with some honest if not absolutely incendiary heat. Two pop shots help pass the time.

if you clientele is into lesbians of the hairy/chunky variety, they should check out Vol. 80, "Sharing Each Other," which enjoins two large mamas and a double-headed dildo together like Rubenesque Lincoln Logs. "Dusky Beauties," Vol. 81,  also features the bushy-armpit look, minus the one-on-one action: it's a solo tape, and not a bad one at that. Misty uses a vibrator which could've been a combine engine in another life, while Porsha manages to unleash a gushing volume of real cunny juice when her fingers do the walking.

And finally, for the sideshow act: Vol. 79, a.k.a. the "Kinky Middle-Aged Couple," recalls peanut-strewn floors and carnival barkers with stale beer-breath promising exotic and disgusting wonders culled from around the globe. Rita (pushing sixty, with nipple chains doubling the copius work gravity has already wreaked on her tits) and her partner Ben don't fuck like normal folk. They can't His balls get in the way. Seem this guy has a sack the size of your average coconut, 'cause he's got four, count 'em, four testicles! (Okay, we'll take his word for it.) Sometimes you feel like a nut (or four)... sometimes you don't! Which is why Ben travels different down Rita's hershey Highway a slightly differnt route: He inserts a candy bar up her wazoo and munches on it until his stiffly waxed mustache is brimming with milk chocolate. We assume they're saving the Butterfinger bar for a d.p.