Candy Hill is chillin' in her back yard when Al Borda suddenly appears and implores her to fill in -- right then -- on his shoot next door. Seems some other actress is a no-show.

"It's gonna be very good for your career," he tells her. "It's very artsy. I'm changing my whole thing of being, like, hardcore. I'm gonna be like one of those other big movie producers at Vivid, making those big glamour shows.

"It's softcore, it's all dialogue and it's gonna take five minutes max."

Naturally, Hill buys Borda's pitch and to no one's great surprise, quickly finds out the only dialogue she'll be speaking is what she utters into the stiff microphones of Tony Eveready, Byron Long, Julian St. Jox, Mr. Marcus, Nick East and last (but certainly not least) Ron Jeremy (sporting a "Size Does Matter" T-shirt). The result is one of Borda's more strokable efforts in a while.

Oh yeah, one additional note. Maybe Al should rethink his use of those psychedelic visual effects of which he's so fond. While they're interesting to look at in a stoner kind of way, and sometimes even heighten the heat, more times than not they just plain get in the way.