With all the visual trappings enabling to the cause, director/writer Phil M. Noir aims for high romance but comes off with a story that might have been better serviced by low-flying custard pies. After all, when the philandering husband in a tale of infidelity is a Beverly Hills "tit doctor" (Dave Hardman), there isn't much inclination to haul out the hankies or the Greek tragedy masks.

Which is probably why Lauren Montgomery, Hardman's lovelorn wife, seems genuinely disoriented while going about the business of seducing self-educated gardener James Bonn. In times of rigid contemplation, a seltzer bottle often suffices. (A fact which Noir must have been aware of as attested to by the inclusion of cute, not zany, outtakes at feature's end.)

With more knowledge about the fine arts than any azalea-planter has a right to have, Bonn's understated professionalism takes Bed of Roses to the next level, while the sexual tried-and-truisms pretty much confine themselves to the standards and principles set forth by the cable market. Oddly enough, Montgomery, whose comments would indicate a preference for it, has yet to do a really memorable girl/girl scene; a record which remains unblemished even by drawing Roxanne Hall as a partner.