Some people like to masturbate looking at utterly unattainable paragons of all that's deemed attractive at the end of this long, tired century. Maybe it's the unflagging ego of the average American male that allows him to picture himself in a dust-up with gold-plated trophy girls like these, or perhaps it's that American penchant for grossly inflated expectations. Whatever the reason, this is Playboy at its slickest and most artificial. And for some people, that's a good thing.

Just how many copies of Playboy have you yourself bought down through the years, dear retailer? That's right. Stock away, Cap'n.