Jules Jordan is like the bastard son of John Stagliano, his camera lovingly lingering on the delectable derrieres of the tape's five lovelies, those close-ups a welcome relief from the bullshit interviews that so frequently precede gonzo sex (like we really give a fuck what the girls have to say).

Given the title, of course, those rumps naturally soon thereafter get plundered by both hardware (including that clear plastic butt plug Jordan favors so much) as well as hard dick. The result is a very solid, sometimes blistering all-d.p. tape with - for those of you who care - Evil Angel's typical clean, crisp production values.

The opener is a somewhat languidly paced Gauge/Mark Ashley/Jordan double penetration number that, at various times, includes big fuckin' anal beads, some gooey oral, A2M and a simultaneous double facial. That's followed by a more spirited d.p. featuring Allura Eden, a hot, new brunette who knows how to emote, getting stuffed by Jay Ashley and Pat Myne.

Scene three emits a slow burn as Jordan fave Ryan Conner gets - what else? - d.p.'d, care of at first by the aforementioned plug and a giant dil attached to a toilet seat, then in tandem with Jordan's joystick. Conner isn't an over-the-top performer here, but she smolders, and as a result, so does the scene, which features some inspired dirty talk ("Fuck that asshole. Make me cry.") and, at the end, our girl slurping up her director's spent load from a clear glass table.

Next up is super-voluptuous Friday (she with the large F tattooed above her pussy), who, like Conner, submits to a synthetic d.p., then an organic one featuring the twin timbers of Mark Wood and Brian Pumper. While only fleetingly scalding, the scene features some (again) gooey head-giving and at another point, Friday screaming bloody agonizing murder when Wood enters her shitter. It ends with a double face frosting, with Pumper in particular really unloading.

The closer is billed as Jeannie Rivers' first anal and she takes both that clear plug and Jordan's jerkin' iron up there without protest, as well as a violent face splattering at the end. But when's the last time you heard a porn chick moan all white bread-like, "Oh my gosh"? Hey honey, it's "Oh my fucking God."