Some Rambling Thoughts On the Future of Porn and Other Unimportant Stuff

Lots of news on the other sites. I think I'll pass on covering any of it. Instead of the present, I'd rather write about the future - at least my version of it. Let me put my Carnac hat on, pull out the trusty old crystal ball, and see what's happening down the road a bit.

Hmmmm.... Shit don't look too good for a lot of people. Seems many of them are stuck to fly paper in their attempts to keep the past looking like the future. Personally, I don't give a fuck. If I'm right about what's coming down, the less people to compete with, the better.

So what's coming down? Well, the Web's still growing and taking healthy bites out of the current edition of the adult video business.

What's that? That's nothing new? You've heard that plenty before? I guess that explains why so many of you are preparing for it - taking action that places you at the forefront, or at least, in the pack - with those racing to take advantage of what surely will come to pass.

Did you hear Private wants to buy Napster? Peer-to-peer porn-sharing with Private at the helm. Do they know something a lot of you don't? Did that Berth Milton guy sneak into my office one night and borrow my crystal ball? Or did he figure it out all on his own - just like the rest of you should - because the writing is all over every fucking wall. But maybe this Berth guy is smarter than most of you. He did build the biggest porn company in the world, and from what I hear, he did it without DB, the Gambinos, or any of their porn-legend front guys' juice.

Don't ya' love what's going on in the music industry? Record labels, distributors, all shitting in their pants. Why? They see the future. What do they see? They see musicians with big followings and millions of fans not needing them. Why? The musicians put up their own Websites and sell their music via downloads - in fact, they'll sell it via lots of other Websites, too. Pirating a problem? Well, assuming you don't think it's already a big problem that's with us to stay, at least the musicians are taking the record companies' percentage out of the loop.

Is it the same quality as their music selling at the Wherehouse or Tower Records? You betcha. Download an MP3 from Kazaa or somewhere, and burn it on a CD or store it on an MP3 player. What'd I tell you? The shit's good! You can't tell the difference, especially if you're one of those new-breed, Gen-X, porn directors. I mean, c'mon, when did you develop a critical ear? You can even download the artwork to slip into your jewel case if you want it.

Any of you watch MTV at all? Yeah, me too, sometimes. You know how they have the name of the song and the artist and label on the screen? I'll bet pretty soon instead of seeing the name of the label on there, we're gonna see the Website address where you can get the music - get the freakin' video, too!

Ya' think this same thing might happen to this biz? In fact, you think it's happening already? You might be right. And maybe it gets even more prevalent as the bandwidth is available to everyone, which ain't gonna be too long a-commin'.

Hey, waitaminute! Does this mean anyone can do this? Like, even some loser bong-heads sitting around in Bumfuck, Wisconsin or somewhere? They can?

You know what sucks? You know really, really sucks - for us, I mean. There's so much bad product - I mean truly pathetic, incompetent, fucked-up, retarded product - being packaged and sold out of this industry, you think the bong-heads can make shit that looks and sounds any worse? My guess is, without any experience at all, these guys can make scenes that look identical to a lot of what's being made here by so many of our "professional" pornographers.

Hey, did you know that every Sony computer - laptop or desktop - now comes with Adobe Premiere editing software? And did you know they all come with a FireWire port that let's you plug into any new Sony DV cam, even the cheap ones? I just thought I'd throw that out, just in case you're thinking of buying a new computer and a camera - you know, to shoot and cut together the kids' soccer games - or maybe cuz you're a loser bong-head in Bumfuck, Wisconsin.

Anyway, most of the competition is at the lower extremities of our business; the amateur, pro-am, wall-to-wall, and gonzo ends. You know, where all the jizz-biz bottom feeders are in a frenzy to ship their 600-700 pieces out the door at ten or eleven bucks a pop and claim they shipped thousands. Where the AVN reviewers give them high marks because they managed to stretch that former prom queen's asshole out a few silly millimeters more, regardless of whether that asshole was green, or in focus, or had half the crew in the shot, or if there was no crew, half the looky-loos, and with the director talking over the "oohs" and the "aaaahs."

So let's figure this shit out: Most of the competition is at the bottom. Even without the loser bong-heads, it's at the bottom. And as the bong-heads make their presence known, where do they blow their smoke? Yep, at the bottom. So the future for the bottom looks... truly fucking dismal.

Damn.

Next time I write about this shit, I'm gonna figure out which part of the future looks good. Maybe some of you have already figured that out. Bravo to you.

Now do something about it.

James "JimmyD" DiGiorgio writes a daily column for his Website, SimplyJimmyD.com. His editorials often lampoon the colorful characters and daily business of the adult industry. DiGiorgio is also an award-winning director; recent credits include the critically acclaimed series, The Sopornos, and the multi-AVN award winning Succubus, both for VCA Pictures. DiGiorgio recently assumed the position of Director of Production for Smash Pictures.