Party By the Numbers: 2257 Rules the Free Speech Night

The heart of adult came to the heart of Hollywood for the 18th annual Free Speech Coalition Night of the Stars, and what an evening it was. Sponsored by AVN, M&M Sales, California Exotic Novelties, Hustler and Larry Flynt Publications, Topco Sales, Marina Pacific Distributors and Goalie Entertainment, the gala event took place at the swank Hollywood Highlands, a mere skip and a jump and a Peter North cum shot away from the Kodak Theater, where they hand out the Oscars to the clothed half of the entertainment industry.

On this side of the fence, plenty of vaunted porneratti made the scene, all as breathtaking in person as they are on the small screen. Mari Possa, Nina Hartley, Carmen Luvana, Jessica Jaymes, Keri Sable, Brittney Andrews, Tiana Lynn, Tiffany Taylor, Julia Bond and Ashley Steele were spotted, as well as male talent Sean Michaels, Mickey G, and Luke Wylder. Flynts Dustin, Theresa and Jimmy were on hand; AVN President Paul Fishbein made the scene, as well as Wicked Pictures boss Steve Orenstein and many others.

But, amid the glitter and the cocktails and the cleavage and the general bon homie lurked four numbers that represented a nasty recurring theme, and a threat to all that porndom holds dear: 2257.

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(Photos: EMM Agency)

“I think the Justice Department has demonstrated they’re serious about going after our industry in any way they can to satisfy that conservative, right wing, ultra religious voting base that got them elected,” remarked the night’s host Adam “Seymore Butts” Glasser, basking for photographers in the patio prior to the festivities. “I think it demonstrates itself in these new 2257 regulations in the name of protecting children, which is just a joke.”

The magnificent Jessica Drake, resplendent in a tasteful-yet-scant, two-piece number that hid charms only DVDs reveal, chimed in on the subject, and its potential far-reaching effects.

“I think free speech is something that we, as an adult industry, need to attack and protect. I think that with the new 2257 regulations, boundaries and precedents are being set right now, and it’s really important for us to come together as an industry and stand up for what’s important for us,” emphasized the AVN award-winner. “ It doesn’t matter what part of the industry we’re in, because it’s going to affect grips and lighting guys and PAs. It’s going to affect people who do gonzo, or people who are under contract and do features; it’s going to affect everybody. We have to team up and get our shit together.”

Tanned and relaxed Wicked director Brad Armstrong leaned against the bar and analyzed the situation in an historical context.

“It’s kind of like in the old days when they went after the gangsters for the tax and stuff like that. It’s what they always do,” he stated. “Nobody’s really going to stand up and say porn’s got to go. They try and mess with it in so many different ways, and now because adult has become such a business, there’s no under-the-table thing where they’re going to get us on taxes. Now they have to go around it this way and try and bring a serious issue like child pornography into the battle and try and muddy the waters with that. It’s a sad thing.”

Indeed, but sadness had nothing to do with the upbeat pageantry of the awards ceremony. MC Butts kicked things off with some humor: “Is my friend Bridgette Kerkove here? Many of you don’t know that Bridgette is involved in a major lawsuit with McDonald’s over the use of the slogan ‘two billion served.’”

Butts went on to acknowledge the “absolute mother of all legal defense teams” assemble by the FSC to thwart the 2257 monster, a legal brain trust working for “little or no payment,” before bringing up Alicia “The Latin Queen of Erotica” Rio to accept her Lifetime Achievement Award. The South of the Border buxotic thanked, among others, her parents for creating her “beautiful vagina,” (AKA her “toybox”) as well as her ex-husband and current squeeze Lacy Lee for her consummate cunnilingus skills. “Rain or shine, she’s down there every night. She does it right!” One can only imagine.

Other winners were African-American fuck pioneer Johnny Keyes (Behind the Green Door, anyone?), who serenaded the crowd with a snatch of “Fly Me To the Moon,” the late director Jim Holliday, gay director Wash West —“In my ten-year journey through this industry, I’ve met some notable characters, some terrible shysters and some incredible squirters.”- and legendary gay cocksman Jeff Stryker, who stunned the crowd with his “speech” that seemed to smack of vintage, outspoken Robert Blake with a Charles Bukowski back and a dash of Jim Morrison.

“They’ve asked me not to do what I usually do, which us get drunk and show my…” Big Jeff weaseled around with his considerable crotch, then lifted his leg to reveal a large dick head protruding from his pants cuff. The man continued. “I’d like to thank the Free Speech Coalition for giving me the award, I would like to not thank this dip fuck for not giving me any shit [he motioned toward Butts], and, uh, Jeff Stryker here. Thank you!”

A tough act to follow, but trouper Butts reclaimed his post admirably, going on to honor noted lawyer Paul Cambria for Advocate of the Year. He accepted via videotape, pointedly saying “It’s not pornography, it’s not obscenity, it’s adult entertainment.” Topco Sales prez Scott Tucker took home the Joel Warner "Good Guy" Award (named for Tucker’s godfather), and Playboy rep Jim Griffith accepted the Positive Image Award for his company’s long-standing, ground breaking work in that area. Finally, adult bookstore kingpin Mike Moran accepted the Hal Freeman “Freedom Isn’t Free” Award.

The night moved on. Chairs were folded up as revelers devoured culinary delights and hit the dance floor. Alicia Rio stood against the wall, Lucite award cradled under an arm, nibbling sushi. She gazed around the room and offered a Rosetta Stone coda to the essence of what keeps this adult machine running, as it does and always will, 2257 be damned.

“I started in this business because I’m a horny motherfucker. And I still am a horny motherfucker and I’ll continue to do movies. You keep watching and I’ll keep pumping. I love this business."