Jerk-Off Artist? This Guy's Jerk-Off Royalty

SÄVSJÖ, Sweden – In addition to having crazy, umlaut-rich place names and long, dark winters, Sweden is also home to at least one serial whack-off artist.

According to The Local, a publication that bills itself as "Sweden's News in English," police in the southern Swedish town of Sävsjö responded to a woman's frantic call after she discovered a naked man masturbating in a stairwell.

After police arrested the man and placed him in the back of their patrol car, they were shocked to find that man continued to have at himself.

The ride back to the stationhouse in the nearby town of Nässjö took nearly 40 minutes, according to the Local, and during that time, the man continued to pleasure himself.

After checking local records for similar cases, the police discovered that the unidentified man was known to other law enforcement agencies in the region for utilizing his joystick in area churches and other public venues.

What we don't quite understand, and what the Local doesn't make clear, is why the police didn't cuff the man's hands behind his back to restrict his ability to masturbate.