WILMINGTON, N.C. – Our congratulations to Wilmington, North Carolina, a city which, for the last three days, has not had one single reported crime! No rapes , no murders , no child molesters, no robberies – in fact, the only blot on the city's perfect record appears to be illegal lingerie!

For the third day this week, informed sources say that Greg Sakas' video store Intimate Bliss has been invaded by a cadre of Wilmington police – seven today, though previously as many as 10 had been assigned – who apparently have nothing better to do than to go through Sakas' stock of several thousand adult videos and DVDs and take inventory.

"They've been writing every movie down, with descriptions; writing down every piece of lingerie with descriptions; every general novelty; everything," one observer said.

However, no one has seen the police removing any materials from the store, so the purpose of the police presence appears to be purely harassment.

It's all apparently being done on the order of Wilmington Police Chief Ralph Evangelous, who reportedly has been in contact with New Bern Police Chief Frank Palombo, who, along with his department, has been sued by Sakas for violating an agreement between New Bern city officials and Sakas not to raid Sakas' New Bern store, Pure Bliss, for a second time after it had already been busted for alleged violations of the New Bern adult zoning ordinance.

"I don't see how he can survive all this attention," said one person familiar with the situation. "Very few people would want to shop for adult videos in a store that's got more than half a dozen uniformed police constantly roaming around, looking over their shoulders. Considering how shy most people are about what porn they buy, that's got to be about the worst thing that could happen."

Surprisingly, Sakas' attorneys have not gone to court to file complaints of harassment against the police, and local media have been silent regarding the situation.

So the question remains: How long will the police continue to spend their entire working days looking at naked women on adult video packaging ... and how long will it take before Wilmington's taxpayers become aware of this colossal waste of time and effort?