The New Jersey Adult Cabaret Assn. is currently tracking three bills, two of which have been approved by the state Assembly's Housing and Local Government Committee. Those bills, A3692 and A3693, sponsored by Assemblymembers Pamela R. Lampitt (Camden), Louis D. Greenwald (Camden) and John F. McKeon (Essex) would create new obstacles for adult businesses, at least some of which would appear to be unconstitutional ... and one of them just wacky.

The wacky one first: A3692 would require the state to post a police officer or "adult school crossing guard" at "every school, child care center, or school bus stop located within 3,000 feet of any sexually oriented business ... during those time periods when a school, child care center, or school bus stop is in operation and children are outside" and that the adult business is "in operation" – which may mean not only when the adult business is open for business, but simply any time that the business exists at that location.

And of course, the bill also gives the municipality the power to levy a tax ("fee") on the adult businesses to pay for the guards ... even though the state presented no evidence during its hearing that such guards are necessary, or even that any child had had any adverse interaction whatsoever with any local adult business!