DRIFFIELD, U.K.—The locals wondered why so many vegetarian men were suddenly purchasing burgers from the burger van. It wasn’t the burgers. It was the porn.
It turns out the proprietors of the van hit upon a great idea: Spend more than 5 pounds on burgers and such, and they would throw in a free porn DVD. A little meat with your meat, they might have said.
Once the locals found out—and one wonders who in God’s name tattled on the good men of Driffield and surrounding burgs—the police were informed and an undercover operation was swiftly instigated. It didn’t take long to catch the owners of the van in the act.
"The van had been operating for about two weeks,” said Sergeant Dave Jenkins. “We received complaints that free porn DVDs were being offered to everyone who spent 5 pounds or more on beer and burgers. Undercover officers made test purchases and found this to be true before Saturday night's operation when the caravan was seized. We won't tolerate this because a youngster could have been given the DVDs.”
To make matters worse, when the police arrived to shut the offending vehicle down, porn was being played on a TV inside.
Charges are being considered, but for now the police are just happy that a vile porn-distribution operation has been nipped in the bud.
“It is unbelievable customers were being offered porn DVDs with their beer and burgers at an outlet that did not even have the necessary licenses,” said Jenkins, to the presumed approval of the concerned women of Driffield and surrounding burgs.
Maybe next time the van owners will try something less conspicuous, like fish ’n’ chips or veggies.
